3 Ways to Improve Your Relationships with Human Design
Human Design is an incredible tool to examine and improve any and all relationships in your life.
Here we'll go over 3 ways to improve your relationships with Human Design:
know and understand yours and your significant others Human Design type & strategy so that you understand how their energy is designed to flow.
find out where the gifts and pitfalls lie in your human design profile lines so that you begin to appreciate how they do things, rather than often feeling like they’re doing it wrong.
learn how undefined centres in your Human Design chart are running the show in your relationships so that you stop personalizing everything and are able to see what’s really happening when there’s conflict.
discover how your partner processes information and the lens they view the world through so that each of you gets the grace you need to do it your way.
Table of Contents
How Undefined Centres In Your Human Design Chart create angst
This topic is so juicy for me!
I think that one of my favourite things about Human Design is how it can be used to improve relationships. Whether they are difficult or stable, there’s always room for improvement!
As with all things Human Design, there are many ways to interpret the meanings and aspects of the chart. Each and every one of us lives from some version (or combination of) our unique blueprint. There’s the shadow side, the regular everyday, and the highest expression. There are also 6 different profile lines that will affect each of the 64 gates differently. That’s a whole lot of variables to consider!
In fact, it’s said that each Human Design gate has a potential 1080 ways it could be expressed.
Add to the mix another person's blueprint, and it’s GAME ON.
In this post, I’ll unpack some of the higher level things to consider in your relationship with others. Just know that this is the tip of the iceberg and that a Human Design Relationship reading is an excellent investment in any relationship that you’d love to enjoy for as long as you’re in it. 😌
1. Know and Understand Your Human Design Type and Strategy
This is key to any and every relationship that you will have, including the relationship you have with yourself!
If you don’t have your Human Design chart, you can download it here for free.
Your Human Design chart will tell you your type, strategy, profile, and definition - all of the things you’ll want to know as you go through this post.
Here’s a brief summary of each of the Human Design types and how they’re energy moves.
Manifestor Human Design:
Manifestors initiate. They are the only Human Design type that is designed to do so.Manifestors are powerful beings. People are often repelled by Manifestors as their aura tends to be more closed and uninviting. This is because they don’t NEED people to get things done. Manifestors make up about 11% of the population. The Manifestor strategy is to inform. In real life, that looks like letting people know what you’re going to do so that it doesn’t jar them or take them by surprise. You’re not asking permission, you’re simply giving them a heads up because without that, they’re left feeling out of the loop and put upon. It’s a good idea for you to let people know that you also like to BE informed when something someone else is doing will affect you.
Generator Human Design:
Generators respond to life around them. They are not designed to initiate although they will have been conditioned, throughout their lives, to do so. Generator types have an open and enveloping aura. They take everything in because they are meant to be responding to the world around them. Generators make up about 37% of the population. Generators respond very well to yes or no questions and need to be given one question at a time. If you’re asking your partner out for dinner, the worst thing that you can do is give them multiple choices. Instead, ask one thing at a time: Do you want to go to the pub? Wait for the response. Do you want to have Chinese food? Wait for the response.
Manifesting Generator Human Design:
The Manifesting Generator is, for all intents and purposes, a Generator. Many Human Design coaches consider the Manifesting Generator a type on its own but it’s really and truly a Generator type therefore, the Manifesting Generator is here to live in response to life around them. Manifesting Generators make up about 33% of the population. If you have a Manifesting Generator in your life, the thing you most need to understand is that they’re fast. The spiritual purpose of the MG is to speed up linear time. Karen Curry Parker refers to them (in Quantum Human Design) as Time Benders - and that, they are. Depending on your type, if you’re in relationship with an MG, they may tire you and you may feel like you need to keep up with them. This isn’t true. I tell the people in my life just to sit back and enjoy the show. The worst thing you can do with a Manifesting Generator is micro-manage them or slow them down in any way.
Projector Human Design:
Projectors wait to be recognized and/or invited. That is, when they are living according to their strategy, they do. Projectors have a focused and penetrating aura. Projectors make up about 20% of the population. They’re uniquely designed to deeply focus on another and, depending on the relationship you have with a Projector, that may be welcome or unwelcome. Sometimes, Projectors focus on correcting, correcting, correcting - and if they’re focused on you, it can be very annoying. A Projector, standing in her power, understands that she’s the lighthouse. She shares her wisdom, when invited, with those who value it. If you’re in relationship with a Projector, recognize them and invite them on a regular basis instead of just thinking they know they’re welcome to tag along.
Reflector Human Design:
Reflectors are karmic mirrors. They are here to reflect the health of their communities. It is said that Reflectors have a sampling aura in that they are sampling the happenings and people in the community to reflect it back. Reflectors make up about 1% of the population. In this podcast episode, I interviewed Casey Marriot and she walked us through how this sampling works in real life. It’s worth the listen if you’d love to understand Human Design Reflectors better. If you have a Reflector in your life, understand that they are ever evolving. Because they are Lunar beings, their decision process takes a long time. Give them space and grace to process things. It’s worth the wait. Also understand that if you’re lucky enough to have a Human Design Reflector in your world, their reflections are worth heeding.
Following your Human Design strategy makes everything easier, including your relationships. It doesn’t matter if it’s a relationship with your child, your parent, your partner, your spouse, your business associates, or your friends. Having a handle on your own type and how you’re uniquely meant to show up in the world is a game changer. When you can understand the other person’s type and strategy, that opens up a whole new world.
Human Design Types in Relation to Others
Understanding the ‘highlight reel’ of how each of the Human Design types shows up in relationship can be a powerful tool to have in your back pocket.
Human Design Manifestors in Relationship
Manifestors don’t need people. They have a closed and repelling aura. This does not mean that they are repelling! It means that they have a vibe about them that kind of pushes others away, subconsciously. It’s not personal. Remember, they don’t NEED people!
I have a really good friend who’s a Manifestor. It’s not uncommon for me to feel like she doesn’t really want anything to do with me from time to time. I need to remind myself that this is her way. She initiates and I respond, so I know that when she does send me a message or wants to get together for a coffee, it’s a sincere invitation. She’s just not built to need to be surrounded by others as she’s self directed and fine on her own.
If you’re in a relationship with a Manifestor, give them space. Don’t pester them with questions and small talk. Understand that they’re here to lead and get out of the way!
Human Design Generators in Relationship
Ah Generators (and Manifesting Generators) with their big enveloping aura. Generator types want to consume everything, and that includes you 💙 Generators need things to respond to with yes or no questions. If you’d like to take your Generator partner on a date, please don’t open by asking “What would you like to do tonight?” That’s a recipe for a frustrating, often hours long, discussion. Instead, ask a series of yes or no questions like this;
“Would you like to go to the movies?”
“Would you like to get Chinese food?”
“Would you like to go to the pub?”
“Would you like to go to the market?”
Asking questions in this way will engage the sacral motor in your Generator partner and they’ll FEEL the answer in their body. Try this the next time you’d like an answer from a Generator in your life.
Generators have a step by step process. Depending on your own type, you may have a less systematized way of thinking or doing. Allow them to go step by step by step and help them to understand when it’s time to quit or when they could be on the brink of something great - just on the other side of their frustration.
Manifesting Generators in Relationship
Everything about Generators applies here to Manifesting Generators.
Remember that Manifesting Generators ARE Generators in Human Design.
There are a few things to keep in mind about your Mani-Gen though. Let’s look at this one through the lens of the parent - child relationship, assuming that the child is the Manifesting Generator. First, Godspeed to the parent 🤣
Manifesting Generators are busy. They multitask, always. They will not read your instructions. They will miss details. They will often frustrate you to no end with their incessant need to be busy.
Manifesting Generators have A LOT of energy to burn. If you notice that your Mani Gen child is frustrated, or hyperactive, or not sleeping well, take them for a run. Seriously. Get that kid outside and get them burning Sacral energy! It will be the biggest game changer for you and for the child.
Another thing to keep in mind is that Manifesting Generators DO have the non-verbal, creative flow of the Manifestor. Often, they’ll be so engrossed in something (especially if they have the 34/20 channel defined or any of the Gates of Deafness) that they cannot hear you speak. This is not selective hearing. They probably are so engrossed that they don’t even know you’re there!
When possible, let them be.
They need to be in touch with this creative flow to feel fulfilled.
They don’t want your help either. Just stay out of the way. Actually, that’s a good motto for anyone in a relationship with a Mani-Gen. Just stay out of their way. 🤣
Human Design Projectors in Relationship
Projectors are wise beings. They are here to spiritually hold the potential of the planet. They are our guides. The thing is, they have projected energy fields that are focused and absorbing. They need to wait for the invitation; be it to share an opinion, to join a group, to attend a gathering, to go on a date, to get married, to move in with someone. Their souls light up when invited.
If you love a Projector, take this into consideration. Invite them to share their thoughts. Invite them to come
sit a while. Invite them to dinner. Invite them to bed. Invite them to clean their mess up. No, Projectors don’t
need to be invited to live but every Projector I’ve ever had the pleasure of knowing has said that it makes them feel alive and juicy to be invited - even to the small things in life. And the ‘small things’ are really everything,
don’t you think?
Recognize your Projector as often as you can. You’ll be glad you did.
Human Design Reflectors in Relationship
Reflectors mirror the health of their communities. They have an entirely open design so they absorb the energies of others around them. The Reflector aura is said to be like teflon and not like the openness of other Human Design types so the conditioning doesn’t quite stick the same way it does for others. Regardless, they are ALWAYS taking in energy from everyone else.
Reflectors need time alone to allow this energy to dissipate. They also need to talk. A LOT.
The best gift - actually, make that gifts that you can give your Reflector friend are time and space to talk.
Listen to your Reflector friend, partner or child. They don’t need you to say anything.
They simply need a sounding board.
Your Reflector friend also requires time alone. Let this be ok.
Human Design Types and Sleep
You may be wondering what this has to do with relationships. Trust me when I say that this is a BIG deal to understand if you are in a relationship with someone who doesn’t share your Human Design type.
People with an undefined or open Sacral Center; Manifestors, Reflectors, and Projectors, really need to sleep alone. This is because throughout the course of the day, they have absorbed a lot of Sacral energy from those around them and they need to be able to allow it to dissipate. The last thing your non-sacral partner needs is to be conditioned while they sleep!
This goes for kids too. Your non-sacral child will not sleep well at parties, sleepovers, sharing a room with a sibling, etc. If possible, limit these circumstances so that they can rest well.
2. Human Design Profile Lines
There are 6 profile lines in Human Design. These combine to create 12 potential Profiles. Your Human Design Profile will definitely influence every relationship in your life. How can it not? It’s the costume you wear, or the role you play, as you move through your life. It’s truly who you are here to be.
Your profile will be listed on your Human Design chart. It’s derived from the profile lines of your Conscious Sun and Earth and your Unconscious Sun and Earth.
These are the 6 Human Design Profile lines and their traits. If you have charts of people you’re in relationship with, check out their profiles and your own and see where there could be gifts and pitfalls between them.
The first three lines (Lines 1-3) are intrapersonal roles. They are mostly focused on the self.
The second three lines (Lines 4-6) are interpersonal roles. They are mostly focused outside of self.
Profile Line 1: The Investigator
Motto: 'The more I know, the less I have to fear!'
Line 1 profiles need to research and investigate. They need to go down every rabbit hole in order to understand the foundation and/or the way things work so that they feel safe and secure.
A feeling of inferiority is the worst thing for a first line profile. They need to know that they know that they know!
Profile Line 2: The Hermit
Motto: 'I am ready for the unknowable, whatever that may be.'
Line 2 profiles have a natural and innate talent for what it is that they do. If you ask them, they have no idea how it is that they do what they do, it comes so naturally that they often don’t see it as a gift, even though those around them do.
The second line profile is self-contained, hence the name hermit.
The thing that’s interesting about second line profiles though, is that they will naturally be called out (energetically) to share what they know when the time is right and/or they will be called into community.
Profile Line 3: The Martyr
Motto: 'There are no mistakes!'
Line 3 profiles have tenacity and grit! They are here to fully experience life and in fact, they MUST experience everything for themselves as this is how they learn what they’re here to learn.
Third line profiles are often led to believe that they are trying too many things and making too many mistakes but this is not the case. It is the only way for them to learn their lessons. For the third line profile, it’s all about discovery and mutation or change.
Profile Line 4: The Opportunist
Motto: 'My network finds me when I’m living my strategy and authority.'
Line 4 is deeply influential in the community. He/she builds community, or a strong network, often without being aware that this is a gift.
The line four moves from foundation to foundation. This is not someone who will quit their job on a whim without a back-up plan (and maybe even a back-up plan to the back-up plan!)
Profile Line 5: The Heretic
The line 5 is all about projection. It is the karmic mirror for all who encounter it. It’s always moving towards the other. The aura of the 5th line not only invites others to project onto it, it may project solutions onto others whether asked for or not.
Often, 5th line profiles are misunderstood (who wants their karma reflected back to them after all?) and can feel isolated, alone, or like a misfit.
Profile Line 6: The Role Model
Line 6 profiles go through 3 distinct life phases.
From 0-30 is really a third line phase - all about experiencing life and experimenting, making all of the ‘mistakes’. From 30-50 is all about integrating the lessons of the early years (we call this on the roof). From 60 (we call this off the roof) it’s all about becoming a role model to the collective, sharing your life’s lessons and your wisdom.
Six line profiles are often seen as aloof.
Problematic Human Design Profiles in Relationship
There can be conflict anywhere and for any number of reasons. Remember that this post is a high level look at some of the places this can exist, through the lens of Human Design.
Often, between Profile lines 3 and 4, there can be some angst.
Line 4 doesn’t like for things to change. They want to move from one foundation to another. They want to, they NEED to, feel solid. Line 3 wants constant change. They don’t require a foundation. They want to, they NEED to, experience ALL of the things! They want to make all of the ‘mistakes’ themselves so that they can learn through experience.
Profile Lines 2 and 5 are both projected lines. Both hold karma and can be mirroring energies. Often, this doesn’t quite jive in relationships. 5th line profiles are designed to mirror and often speak their minds (they’re supposed to) It can be hard to see this as a gift in relationships sometimes.
Depending on what phase of life a 6 line profile is in, they can bump up against things and feel unseen and unheard. The thing my 6 line profiles say the most is that they wish they’d had more support as they’ve gone through life.
3. How Undefined Centres In Your Human Design Chart are Running the Show in Your Relationships
Human Design Centres: Defined vs Undefined
Ra Uru Hu (Human Design founder) taught us that our open centres are where we ‘go to school.’ There are many lessons to be learned through openness and this will often be played out in relationships.
Look at your own Human Design chart. Do you have gates that are defined in centres that are undefined? These are called ‘dormant gates’ and their themes will play out in relationships, throughout your lifetime.
When we look at the Human Design centres, there are 4 in particular that will perhaps have a stronger influence than the others. That’s not to say that ALL centres don’t play a part in relationship dynamics. It’s just that these 4 pack a bit more of a punch.
1. The G Center
The G centre or Identity Center is the centre for lovability and direction in Human Design. People who have this centre undefined will always question their lovability. Always. In addition to this, 4 of the 10 gates of love in the Human Design chart reside here, in the G centre. We see gates of Self Love, Universal Love, Love of Humanity, and Love of the Body. Just think how these messages alone would play out in relationships!
Our open centres not only hold our life lessons, they are where we are most prone to being conditioned by others. This starts from the moment that we take our first breath. In open and undefined centres, we will take
on energy from others and we will amplify it, so it always feels bigger for us.
Let’s say, for example, you have gate 46 defined and hanging in your open G centre. This gate will always be subconsciously looking for its partner, the gate of commitment and devotion, gate 29. You’ll electromagnetically be drawing people with this gate into your field. Gate 46 is about love of the body. This is a theme that will play out for you in your relationships, because it’s how you are meant to learn your lessons.
With an undefined or open G Centre, you’re a chameleon. You can often fit in in any crowd - which is a beautiful gift to have. It makes peer pressure a real thing though so that’s something to watch for in your teens. You can adapt to any crowd or person you’re with but then when you get away from them, you find yourself wondering who you are again. Role confusion can be an issue with an undefined G Centre.
2. The Ego or Will Center
Can I just say here how much I hate that the Ego gets a bad wrap? Especially in the spiritual community.
The Ego is not bad. It’s just a part of the equation that is you!
If you have a defined Ego or Will centre, you are definitely in the minority as only about ⅛ of the population has their Ego centre defined. You’re designed to be assertive, and to know you’re the s%$t. You’ve probably been conditioned away from this, being told you’re ‘too much’, ‘too bossy’, or ‘too assertive’ throughout your life. You may long to be large and in charge in relationships but not know how to do that from an unconditioned or healed place. This can wreak havoc on relationships.
When this centre is undefined, it is a BEAST that can quickly take over and run the show of your life, especially in relationships. I have a lot of experience with this as my Will centre is completely open and extremely conditioned (as they all are).
The undefined will centre is always trying to prove itself.
➡️ Trying to prove it’s better
➡️ Trying to prove it’s smarter
➡️ Trying to prove it’s worthy
➡️ Trying to prove it’s love
➡️ Seeking validation from anywhere and everywhere.
It is a TRIP this undefined Will centre!!
Gate 40 is one of the Love Gates in the Human Design chart. This one is all about Tribal love and keeping the tribe resourced. Electromagnetically, if this gate is defined in an undefined Will centre, it will always be looking for gate 37 - the gate of community and friendship.
You can see how this need to prove itself would/could become problematic in relationships. No judgment here. We do this subconsciously and because we’ve been conditioned to do so. If you have an undefined Will centre, you have nothing to prove. When you find yourself trying to prove something to yourself or someone else, take a big, deep breath and remind yourself “I have nothing to prove.”
3. The Spleen Centre
Ah the Spleen Center.
In Human Design, the Spleen is centre that governs fear, health and intuition.
The conditioned message of the open spleen is holding onto things for longer than it should. This could mean holding onto relationships that you know you need to step away from, holding onto material things, holding
onto outdated systems, it all lives here.
If this centre is undefined for you, ask yourself where you’re holding onto things for longer than you should.
This is also the fear centre in the Human Design chart. Two of the Gates of Love live here, in the Spleen Center. Gate 44 is the gate of alertness in Human Design. It’s all about having an instinctual awareness for the talents
and potential of others. Some call it the gate of the Personnel Manager. The underlying fear of the 44th gate is all about the past catching up to you. In relationships, the person with the undefined spleen will amplify this fear and it may show up when you least expect it.
Not fun.
Gate 28 is said to be the Gate of Struggle. It too lives in the Spleen centre. Gate 28 is always trying to find
purpose. If it’s a hanging gate (without the 38 defined) it will struggle and often wonder what is worth fighting for - this could include relationships.
The underlying fear of gate 28 is that there is no purpose to life. It will often take great risks in the pursuit of purpose.
Other fears that live in the Spleen centre include fear of inadequacy (48), fear of the future (57), fear of responsibility (50), fear of failure (32), fear of judgment and/or authority (18).
Fear is a monster that can consume relationships if left unchecked. Remember that in the open or undefined Spleen, these fears will be amplified and may show up at the most unpredictable times.
If you have gates that are defined in your undefined spleen, you are here to learn their lessons through your relationships. That’s just the way it is.
The biggest question you’re going to ask yourself with your open spleen though, is this; “Am I holding on longer than I should?”
A fun fact about the Spleen Centre is that the person with an undefined Spleen will crave the person with the defined Spleen because they make them feel secure. This is fascinating to watch in children.
4. The Emotional Solar Plexus
People with a defined Emotional Solar Plexus are the people who are meant to be emotional. It’s hardwired into them. As someone with a defined Emotional Solar Plexus, I can tell you that there is A LOT of conditioning around this for me. While we often think of conditioning happening in our openness, it does happen through our definition as well.
In fact, in our defined areas, the conditioning is most often that we are ‘too much’ so we dull ourselves down. In our undefined areas, the conditioning is that we’re ‘not enough’ so we ramp ourselves up, trying to be something we’re not.
People with an undefined Emotional Solar Plexus are NOT meant to be emotional but remember that in the openness, things are not only absorbed, they are amplified.
This is a big deal in relationships because if one of you has a defined ESP and the other an undefined ESP, one of you is deeply emotional and one of you is amplifying that emotion - always.
My husband and I have this dynamic. In his openness, he amplifies my emotions by at least 100. He has no way to filter them through his design. They truly all feel big to him. If you were standing in front of me, you could see my hands talking, saying “If I’m feeling something a teeny, tiny bit, he will feel it 10 times stronger”. Something can literally not be bothering me at all, but he will feel, in his body, like it is a big fat hairy deal.
It used to drive us crazy until we understood each of our designs. Now we can simply acknowledge that he is soaking up the emotion and break our auras apart for a wee while. The biggest question you can ask yourself, if you have an open Emotional Solar Plexus is “Is this mine?” If the answer is no, carry on as you were. Understand that you are simply filtering an emotion from someone else - be it in a relationship, a coffee shop, a crowded mall, or a party - this is what you will do! Give yourself the gift of being a sieve and not a sponge 💙
This is really just a glance into the Human Design chart as it pertains to your relationships. There are so many places we could look for support in this area, but this is a great place to start.
What we need to remember is that Human Design is all about the nuances.
I recorded a series of podcast episodes going through the designs of all 13 of my family members. In it, I look at many of the nuances in design. You can listen to the intro for the series here and then follow along on your favourite podcast player.